what's wrong with me finding my own happiness ? is it wrong ? is it my fault ? i can't understand . i'm sorry , i'm really sorry . but for what ? for posting it in my blog ? hey , this is my journal , my blog , if you don't like , don't you dare to step in again , clear ? i'm ANGRY . hell yeah i'm angry and upset . i thought you guys would understand . i hate myself for always thinking so negative and wrong . i hate everything right now . everything's going so wrong in my eyes . what's wrong with me ? i've changed :'(
sorry , i can't control my emotions , day by day , i'm getting sick of same stories that i don't want to hear or remember . why do you guys still talk about you-know-who ? i want to forget it , FORGET . so why still keep talking like i'm okay with that ? the truth is , i'm not fine , okay ? i'm not ! please , stop talking about you-know-who and you-know-who's sister or mother or brother or whatever ! i'm angry and i hate it ! i hate , i hate and i hate . i just want to let it go , my memories that keep haunting me , i want to let it go . . i really do .
please guys . i love you all so much , so much , 'cause you're my bffs . but , really , you guys have to understand me . you guys have to understand that when i'm quiet , there's something wrong . and please , stop talking about you-know-who . i want to forget ! i want to find my own happiness ! i want to leave you-know-who alone 'cause i know how much you-know-who hates me . i'm absolutely know that for sure . . .
i feel so empty and hopeless . i'm so sorry if my words are harsh , i feel so hopeless .. . and now , i want someone to hug me and say everything's going to be fine , i'm losing y-k-w . i know i'm losing another best friend . we're no longer friends and somehow , i have to accept it . i'm sorry guys , i'm sorry but i'm so scared . . i'm so afraid , of .. everything . please stay . . i'm begging you , please . even we're apart , and not talking to each other , please for the first and last time , i'm begging you , please stay . please .
this is so sad more than i can imagine . i don't know why and how . i just don't know , suddenly , everything's going wrong . just , i love you guyssss , i really do and i hope you guys will understand my feeling . i don't want to remember . i just want to forget . . i love you ALL . cross my heart xxx
P/S : i love smiling , i love being happy but .. things will never be the same , i'm sorry for everything . i have to be patient . i have to .