It's been a long time since I wrote something. So yeah now I'm 18 and I'm a step closer to 'alam universiti'. To be honest, there's so much thoughts wandering in my mind. Sometimes I don't know how to express. I guess by writing I feel a lot better. So much better.
To those people who have been hurt by me. I never meant to hurt you. I know how it feels to feel abandoned, forgotten or pushed away. I clearly know that so please don't tell me what I'm good at and what I'm not. I cry for a reason I love for a reason and yes I leave for also a reason. I did everything for a reason. Or reasons. But obviously I'm not that type of person that leaves forgets or abandons something for no reasons. I have my own reasons. I am. Though you can't see it or feel it or know it, God did. God knows what I'm doing and He sees and forgives everything. Have you ever heard that when you sacrifice something, you didn't lose it. You're just passing it to another who deserves it so much better than you do. And now I figured it out. Yes I did. And I know someday you will.
All people deserves this. All human deserves this. All creatures deserve this. All sinners deserve this. In case you don't know how value happiness is to someone. Let me tell you. You're lying if you say you don't have those precious persons in your life. Imagine life without them would be empty and cold. What if they're gone and you'd feel lifeless? What if they're taken away you'd be cold for the rest of your lives? Those what if questions keep replaying in your mind over over and over again. Then you'll know they're special right? A simple example is your family or best friends or the one who could make you smile. So how does it feels like to tell your heart to stand strong if one day they're gone? Tell you the truth, you can't even bear it even for a second. Every step, every breathe, every second, every hour you'll find how much the pain overtook your life. So please, even if you hate someone at one point you want them dead or kill them with your bare hands, just please DON'T TAKE THEIR HAPPINESS in every way you think you could. Find your own happiness and cherish those memories okay? :)
"How does patience do this? Patience is linked with hope and trust in Allah. When something bad happens, we can force ourselves to be patient by reminding ourselves that with hardship comes ease and that after a period of hardship Allah gives relief. We can only be truly patient when we realize that everything is from Allah, and that is how everything is illuminated. It is the opposite of darkness and impatience. Impatience is darkness because it frustrates us, we can behave rashly and we do not see the wisdom in the delay. The Prophet ﷺ said “And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience.” (Bukhari)"
You have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient ♡
2014 taught me so much. Things I have never even imagine would be a part of my life. I learn how important is to let go, stay rooted, be patient, show those important persons how much they're priceless, have faith when things go wrong, trust when you're still can, love when you're capable to stay. And all that matter is I have find my way and I'm glad God shows me that way. So, don't you want to find yours too? :')